WE WERE FISHING FOR ROCKETS

1

You pressed your Nazi grandfather’s signet ring into my hand and asked me to throw it in the sea or a few different frameof water. because you couldn’t. and i stated: I’m no longer doing that; he isn’t my arsehole relative. I’ve got skeletons of my very own in the cabinet. It’s chock full; there’s no room for yours.

I placed the ring in my field of horrors at the side of the plastic spider and different yucky things, and stored it for you. It’s still there – been joined through some other one seeing that.

2

despite the fact that we have names, and perfectly regular names too – nothing mega stupid like Babsi or Horst or something – we don’t use them. we have those puppy thingies. You call me Krasivaya and i name you Libero. Libero, because I think of you as free. not anything to do with soccer or defence structures, as you continually claim. I think ofyou as Italian, despite the fact that you’re 1/2 Romanian – Italian and free, a partisan in the mountains or anything. on occasion, high up at the ridge, we destroy bread and cheese without a knife, and throw ourselves into cowl in opposition to the clouds. There’s an explosion at the back of us. They received’t get us. not in 1,000,000 years.

Krasivaya due to the fact – no idea why. because my head’s in outer area and my toes only simply contact the ground. because my gaze is usually weightless.

I wanted to be an astronaut. I understand all approximately parachutes, due to the fact at some point along the mannermy wings broke off. I must have been about eleven or twelve at the time.

3

Out hiking at some point we found a cave inside the middle of the woods, and due to the fact we had been bloodless and soaked by way of the rain – because it was losing darkish, and the following hostel become fifteen kilometres off, I advised we spend the night time inside the cave. and you said: No way. You have been afraid we’d find a sleeping bear in there. I couldn’t help wishing you had been braver – like a warrior or a cowboy – like a purple Indian who would have shot my fear to pieces together with his arrows. because it was, I needed to go on ahead and combat the undergo till you’d fallen asleep among the stalagmites and stalactites at the muddy ground of the cave.

four

We’re bombardiers. each Friday among 5 and 8 within the night, we take our boules and bombard the park.

5

while we skip Sugar, the maximum stunning streetwalker inside the red-light district, we pull up on our motorcycles with screeching brakes and enquire about her corns. She were given them from her red systems, and they’ve been giving her hell for weeks. Sugar is a beauty. Her actual name is Satwan, and he or she was a person. Now she has a dressmakerclitoris fashioned for her by a star surgeon from Bangkok and offers the fine blowjobs on the town. as a minimum that’s what she says. We trust her and ask for no proof.

6

Gipsy boy – that’s what your ringless grandfather referred to as you. We crochet the most stunning laurels around thephotograph of your father, who is never talked about. We tell ourselves that he’s been at sea considering that leaving your mother – that he didn’t cling himself from a tree within the woods, as she claims. A grave, a grave, what’s a grave? not anything however a call on a stone. We toast his fitness and your roots, and chuck glasses on the walls until your flatmate starts offevolved yelling that we’re arseholes. Filthy whore – that’s what your Nazi grandad known as his own daughter. You raised your arm, took purpose and struck – and the following day you left the village. I gave you a selfmade certificatefor that and sewed a loose swimmer’s badge for your red T-shirt.

7

on the first actual day I advised you no longer to fall in love with me. whilst you did besides, I slapped you round the face.

8

We had labored out that it might take 21.3 days to get to the Black Sea on your Vespa – riding slowly. It took us forty threedays and made belly sleepers out folks. In Hungary we had that row and that i almost turned around. but what with the full moon and the Danube and your musicians – mesečina, mesečina – I couldn’t hack it and flew lower back into your arms.

9

Mixtape

A-aspect (Your aspect)

Françoise Hardy / ‘Oh Oh Chéri’

Ernst Busch / ‘Heimlicher Aufmarsch’

Goran Bregović / ‘Mesečina’ and ‘Ederlezi’

Jacques Brel / ‘Ne Me Quitte pas’

Danzig / ‘mother’

D.A.D. / ‘napping My Day Away’

The The / ‘Love is more potent Than death’

Your zigzag choreography made me dizzy.

B-aspect (My facet)

Nouvelle indistinct / ‘This isn't a Love song’

Kim Wilde / ‘Cambodia’

dead Kennedys / ‘holiday in Cambodia’

Lard / ‘They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!’

Fugazi / ‘waiting Room’

Pixies / ‘Debaser’

The Notwist / ‘Moron’

Nouvelle vague / ‘Too drunk to Fuck’

10

a few ask:

So whilst are you eventually going to get married?

Others ask:

So why aren’t you a pair?

11

We shared a bottle of Jameson’s and bitched approximately the world. you then sat down on the drums, and that igrabbed the microphone and sang along to the beat in a wig and a couple of sun shades – first for you and then into the video digicam, until I were given tousled inside the mic cable and ended up at the ground, digicam and all, laughinguncontrollably. once I saw the video the subsequent morning I noticed that we’d kissed – a while earlier than I fell asleep and also you pressed stop.

12

phone name:

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

You, in a grimy temper:

‘Yeah?’

Me:

‘It’s me.’

‘Mmm.’

‘Are you still in bed?’

five seconds later, you once more:

‘Shit. What’s the time?’

‘Don’t tell me you’re still in bed?’

‘Why?’

‘because it’s half bloody three within the afternoon. That’s why.’

‘Fuck. absolutely?’

‘sure.’

‘Oh. Shit.’

lights-up sounds at your give up of the road.

‘overlooked an appointment?’

‘Yup.’

‘whatever vital?’

‘Yup.’

‘when did you depart last night, by way of the manner?’

‘Dunno. some time this morning.’

I listen to you smoking. Then I say:



‘am i able to borrow your motorbike? any individual’s nicked mine.’

‘Come round.’

‘We kissed the previous day.’

‘Yup.’

‘become it accurate? The aspect is, you see, i'm able to’t do not forget.’

‘You have been first rate, child.’

‘Bastard.’

‘See you in a minute.’

thirteen

My birthday is usually in the iciness. every year. I’m no longer glad about that. due to the fact I’d like to have a hugebirthday party with all my pals – within the park, in any other case by using a lake, with a bonfire and dozing out in theopen and all that. ultimate summer season you got here spherical to steer me to go swimming and strapped me on thelower back of your Vespa. You carried me over your shoulder from the automobile park to the threshold of the lake, and isang a nursery rhyme all of the way. after I noticed the table by means of the water laid for a party and all our friendssitting spherical it saying happy birthday to me, I knew you have been crazy and i ran away. What an awesomecomponent you’re faster than me.

14

We simplest ever fight at our typefighter, an vintage Olympia, and the rules pass like this:

most effective one character at the keys at a time.

No talking; you’re simplest allowed to put in writing.

After one sentence, it’s the opposite individual’s turn.

The fight mins are filed chronologically by using 12 months.

15

‘hands up!’ I shouted, the day I held up the café where you had a activity behind the bar – my secret-agent water pistol pointed firmly in your direction. You checked out your boss, who had caught up all his fingers right away. then you definitely grinned, positioned down the tea towel you had been retaining, and slowly – bloody slowly – you caught up your fingers. ‘this is a kidnapping!’ I instructed your boss with a wink. I stuck your stressed eye, pulled the trigger, hit you at the forehead and ordered you to pop out from behind the bar. outdoor the café I blindfolded you, slipped Walkman headphones over your ears and spun you round some times to make you lose your bearings. I carried you off to the station by means of a zigzag path and then on a train to the ocean, which we reached that nighttime.

16

Christmas along with your mother. Your grandad turned into already in his grave and your mom became lonely, so we requested her to celebrate with us. Christmas Eve at yours with goose and red cabbage and dumplings and wine and carols. Christmas Day at mine on the couch with leftovers, biscuits and The Godfather I-III. On Boxing Day I left the 2 of you and felt lonely on my own.

17

We stood on the bridge over the railway traces, half of frozen to dying, your antique fishing equipment in our hands. A fishing rod each. The sky had cooled down from all of the large bangs some time earlier, and we put rockets in empty bottles and glued fishing lines to the timber quit of the missiles. setting out countdown, engines on. We held lighters to the fuses in sync and grabbed the fishing rods. three. two. One. Checked by means of the fishing strains, the rockets spat and whizzed into the sky with some trouble and exploded over our heads. We were fishing for rockets. That became lastNew 12 months’s Eve.

18

The top Ten reasons Why i can’t Be With You

you have only one book on your possession.
The identify of that book is Excel for Dummies.
You’re continually ingesting.
You odor like my dad.
you have no aims.
you have holes in all your socks.
You continually go away the lids off everything.
You never vote.
Your kisses flavor of ash.
You’ll leave me.
19

the day prior to this your mum rang. From the sanatorium. for your cellphone. I concept it became you and after I took the call I stated: wherein are you, you fucking fool? and your mum burst into tears.

She stated that she had a letter for me – that you had been in extensive care with a pumped-out stomach and that your flatmate had determined you. Then I knew why you hadn’t come to the region we’d arranged to satisfy that morning and that i set off to peer you.

20

one thousand tubes to your frame. video display units. Beeping. Hydraulic stuff. and also you. In a coma. The consultanton responsibility told me you’d poisoned your self with capsules. Your breathing had stopped, your mind have beenwithout oxygen for several mins, so now you were in a coma, receiving artificial ventilation and synthetic vitamins. The question was whether or not you’d ever be ordinary once more. The chances have been slim. He gave me the subsequenttasks to carry out:

– speak to him in a calm, friendly manner

– inform him excellent matters

– Be encouraging

– touch his skin gently

– point out acquainted names and conditions

The idea, said the representative, turned into to steer you to pick out lifestyles and perhaps come again. even thoughyou wouldn’t be able to stay the lifestyles you used to live, it become quite feasible that you might, with some intensiverehab, be capable of have every other few desirable years – albeit mentally handicapped and wheelchair certain.

where I may want to get at your pores and skin, in amongst the tubes and dressings, I stroked your hand and arm. I doled out recollections to you in a relaxed voice, sang to you, made up a fairy story for you – after which referred to as you names for approximately an hour. I took your letter domestic without analyzing it.

21

Your farewell letter:

Krasivaya,

I’m sorry.

Libero.

22

You cowardly bastard.

I’ve just about had it.

23

It’s Friday.

Who’s going to bombard the park with me today?

And subsequent week?

And the weeks after that?

I recognize the names of all of your sisters now.

24

i've determined out all about the doll’s head phenomenon. And in which the mind stem is. You didn’t come again. Your mother desired you in a grave close by. I stated: Sea burial – he belongs within the ocean! and it was all the same to her. Your heart become transplanted due to the fact you had one of these cards.

i can hardly ever endure the thought – that a person, someplace, goes around with a Libero coronary heart.

25

the ocean burial turned into a entire washout. if you’d been there, we’d have laughed ourselves silly at your puking momand the vicar droning away on board. as it become, I stood there on my own wondering how banal it all changed into and feeling miserable because it seemed to me something ceremonious ought to show up. Plop went the urn and my mouth went crooked.

I feel amputated. Couldn’t you be like Jesus and rise from the useless some time soon? A Friday might be accurate – sure, I think that might be handiest right and right.

26

Time is like a piece of chewing gum that’s misplaced its flavor.



27

I’ve sold the entirety, even the drum package – sorry. I’ll take your Vespa even though; it runs fantastically. Your gloves are nonetheless under the seat. The removal van is coming day after today. every person asks: Why Flensburg? I shrug and say not anything.

28

Her call is Simone Michalski. It wasn’t clean to find out.

My flat is in the equal region as hers. She does all her buying at an natural grocer’s. Fasten your seatbelt – I’m startingpaintings there at the start of subsequent month. element time.

29

i am going for walks through the sea each day. you could see Denmark. sometimes I ride across on the Vespa, buy salty liquorice and devour a warm canine with a vivid purple sausage interior. You’d love røde pølser. at the anniversary of your loss of life I floated a candle on the water and yelled at the sea.

30

I look at her, searching for a few trace – watching for a spark. The worst of it is, you wouldn’t like Simone, I’m certain you wouldn’t. We’ve been meeting once a week for some months now. She’s a vain boules participant. Can’t play chess both. Her modern fad is Nordic taking walks, with sticks and all that. It in reality is a miracle there wasn’t some sort of rejection response.

31

I’m sitting on the typefighter breaking all of the regulations.